Wow…nearly four months have gone by, four months with me not having anything to ramble about….nah, I’m lying\ud83d\ude02 I actually had a lot to say, but everything was either not working or down, and I had neither the energy nor drive, to fix it. It’s been a rough couple of months (it always is) travelling through valleys of shadows, darkness & death, soaring above mountains of happiness & euphoric bliss, dropping into gutters, filled with glistening, existential trash….up & down, up & down, riding the yoyo of life. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I wish I could say, that everything is back to normal \ud83d\ude44, but lets face it, normality, belongs out there in the “Normie” world. So let me re-phrase that….I am returning back to a life with reminders, patterns and routine, mixed with the mood swings, agitated aggression and impulsive decisions lacking any self control. On the subject of impulsivity… I’ve been making sort of serious decisions that definitely will impact the rest of my days. I decided to move to a place 2km from the beach, in a small coastal town…Of course, all decisions were made in true TBI fashion…impulsive, a little reckless, but with a true spirit and heart. I feel…I feel that I just need to get away, and this is the only way, I can describe the emotions, churning around in my soul. My youngest daughter moved in with her dad. I realise that at the age of nearly 16, she needs better discipline and structure – something, I am not equipped to give her…something that got lost in my make-up as a mother, on that fateful night. My eldest daughter grew up into a dynamic, kind-hearted woman, and also stayed with her father from the age of 15…so I guess, he must be doing something right? In order for me not to fuck up her life completely, I need to give her the best….and sadly…the best is to stay in a disciplined environment, normal and with no constant worries about your mother…<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I need to force myself to live again. Force myself to fight again, like the warrior, I was in the beginning. I need to literally yank my ass, out of all my comfort zones to place unfamiliar…where even going to the supermarket, would take me on a new path, with new things to learn, and force me to explore my surroundings. I chose a small town on the coast (the town is 8km’s in length!), with the closest town nearly 40km’s away, to compensate for my inability to handle big crowds and noise. I’m hoping to focus more on my creativity, making stuff and building a life, that’s got purpose again…maybe even finding my crown.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
But for now…I just had to say : I’m Back! Woohoo!! I can ramble and rant again! Look out, world! <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Wow…nearly four months have gone by, four months with me not having anything to ramble about….nah, I’m lying\ud83d\ude02 I actually had a lot to say, but everything was either not working or down, and I had neither the energy nor drive, to fix it. It’s been a rough couple of months (it always is) travelling […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":2045,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"template-full-width-post.php","format":"standard","meta":{"pagelayer_contact_templates":[],"_pagelayer_content":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[11,12],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1455","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-princess-ponderings","category-ramblings"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/ramblingrabbit.co.za\/di\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1455","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/ramblingrabbit.co.za\/di\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/ramblingrabbit.co.za\/di\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ramblingrabbit.co.za\/di\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ramblingrabbit.co.za\/di\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1455"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/ramblingrabbit.co.za\/di\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1455\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2046,"href":"https:\/\/ramblingrabbit.co.za\/di\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1455\/revisions\/2046"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ramblingrabbit.co.za\/di\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/2045"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/ramblingrabbit.co.za\/di\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1455"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ramblingrabbit.co.za\/di\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1455"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ramblingrabbit.co.za\/di\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1455"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}