I started this blog (more like a diary to be honest) because I felt the need\u2026a calling if you will. I\u2019m sure my Facebook friends were relieved because I sort of had this thing to ramble on in long extensive posts never getting to a point. At first it was fun, using WordPress and playing around with everything until I was finally Content, and it reflected my style. That was sort of enough… but then I discovered something about myself which I\u2019m shy to admit\u2026a type of egotistical vanity…no one was reading – and it bugged me!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I wanted to vent and rant on…but it\u2019s totally futile, when there is no one listening. I am too shy to randomly say to friends \u201cHere is the web address to my blog\u2026read it\u201d. So, I decided to create a Facebook page to reach at least one soul. Eleven of my friends liked it and I felt so special and overwhelmed!\ud83e\udd70 A little sad as well because some did not even acknowledge its existence\u2026but overall, I was grateful (even though only one actually visited the blog page\u2026.) Over and above that, it gave me something to do! To be useful again? Even the Facebook page was delightful \u2013 trying to figure stuff out and a nice new experience (over and over again…thanks to my working memory \ud83d\ude02) Random words from a random rabbit, scarred and lost with random little memes and random quotes from cool people \ud83d\ude0e It made me feel less\u2026 less useless. I\u2019m still intelligent\u2026or at least, I \u2018think\u2019 I am. I can still do certain stuff, but way slower (no really way <\/span>slower…) I used to be bad at math, but now I suck balls\u2026even with simple adding or subtracting! But my language skills are still intact – Yes, I know. My tenses are atrocious and I fuck up your and you’re at times, but still not too bad…Oh FFS! NO, I don\u2019t feel sorry for myself\u2026It is what it is\u2026I\u2019m just trying to explain how easy it is to get lost and start believing crap like \u2013 everybody will be better-off, when I\u2019m no longer around\u2026.<\/p>\n\n\n\n In any case\u2026last night an individual commented on my page \u201cWell ramble along…. Show worth before I accept x\u201d. Accept? Excuse me?\ud83e\udd37\ud83c\udffb\u200d\u2640\ufe0f \ud83d\ude05 my one friend told me he was going to send invites to others to go and like my page! Worth\u2026interesting word…(mmmm word-worth…urgh! back to the point!! ADD suck!) That word, caused a night of thinking deep thoughts\u2026you know the kind? The one\u2019s where you solve the problems of the universe! What is worth? What is worthy? Am I of worth, if I make you laugh <\/em>with a silly meme? Am I of worth, if I make you think <\/em>with an inspirational quote? Am I of worth to other broken souls, who need to know that they are not alone, even if they feel they are the only ones dealing with an invisible disability<\/em>? Or maybe I\u2019m looking at this at a completely wrong angle \ud83e\udd14 Is worth actually a monetary value? Because then I\u2019m fucked! I am on disability and can\u2019t earn money anymore! But I do have a little bit going to my daughter\u2019s when I\u2019m gone – does that count for anything? They won\u2019t be millionaires but will at least be able to buy a little home\u2026 or party their heart\u2019s out for a good couple of years! Does that make me worthy? You see, now I am exactly at the same point I was in the previous paragraph\u2026everybody will literally be better-off when I\u2019m no longer around\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n OMW before anyone panic!! I\u2019m just realising now, that some might read this the wrong way!!! I\u2019m not<\/span> suicidal and not<\/span> depressed\u2026they have pills for that now you know \ud83d\ude0f But, I am confused and trying to find my standing in this world… This actually inspired me to create a HUGE rant of gigantic proportions regarding social media and a whole culture that\u2019s developing! I just need to get pissed off enough first before I subject others to it\u2026So what did we learn today children? We learned that if you are looking for worth on any social platform, you might consider rethinking your values\u2026.\ud83d\ude09<\/p>\n\n\n\n <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" I started this blog (more like a diary to be honest) because I felt the need\u2026a calling if you will. I\u2019m sure my Facebook friends were relieved because I sort of had this thing to ramble on in long extensive posts never getting to a point. 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