Narcissistic personality disorder involves a pattern of self-centred, arrogant thinking and behaviour, a lack of empathy and consideration for other people, and an excessive need for admiration. Others often describe people with NPD as cocky, manipulative, selfish, patronizing, and demanding…….anyway…… that’s how Google defines it…
.I’ve had a rough couple of days… too drained to blog, and not really knowing how to get shit out of my system without pointing fingers or blaming other people. I’ve tried and believe me when I say – it can’t be done. Well, I can do it but that would force me to lower my values to their level…..and I won’t – my knee is fucked in any case, and it will just be a bitch to get back up to my standards and values….I hate this month! I fucking hate December! In 10 days it will be the anniversary of her death and the beginning of my rabbit life. Life…. I don’t think one can even call it a life. And then 3 days after that, it’s Christmas….Hooray…..And then it’s gifts and ‘happy holidays’ and food and family and love and light and blah, blah, blah🤮 Sorry, don’t mean to be rude or offend in any way, but the idea of all the above makes me sick to my stomach! Urgh….and then just a couple of days after that it’s fucking new year! Drinking, loud music and fireworks, because apparently sounding like you are in the middle of a warzone, constitutes as fun for some people…….There’s one problem with that. Unfortunately, I can’t drink anymore… loud music fucks up my sensory perception and confuse the shit out of me…. I can’t dance because my ‘gorgeous’ legs battle to climb the stairs, let alone dance! So my evening, will consist of lying in bed and trying to calm my two Dachs-hooligans, and rest will only come, once the fireworks stop..
Of course the narcissistic drama I mentioned, completely suck up all my Serotonin and Dopamine levels, leaving me edgy, agitated and ready for a fight, but too drained to deal with the usual December shit. Seriously… you’re not going to believe this and even I have to admit that it sound like I’m just making this up, Just 5 days after new year, it’s the anniversary of my father’s heart attack in the bathroom,….I will most probably always wonder whether he had the opportunity to piss before he died or did he die before he could reach the toilet 🤔OMW, I really do hope the poor guy managed to go before he left🙄 And if your December is as shitty as mine, take a deep breath and repeat after me…Bah Humbug to all!
