Back to School!

So school started yesterday (ikr!! I missed my alone time in the mornings!) and I wish I could say that I dropped my daughter off at school, with only a little bit of traffic and spent the day reluctantly cleaning the house and relaxing, until I had to go and fetch her again in the afternoon…I said I wish, but unfortunately that’s not how it played out.

This is how my day yesterday unfolded: driving up to my daughter’s school, I am chaffed as a spot opens up right in front of the gate! I noticed there were a lot of teachers at the gate, and my daughter said they must be having an inspection as the children were entering the gate. My daughter and I exchanged the usual love yous before she got out and joined the queue to enter school. I usually wait until she is safely in the school yard, before I leave, as I did yesterday as well. While waiting for her to get in, I looked at the teachers pulling guys and girls out of the queue. Before I continue, I have to share that I’m a very relaxed mom and am used to my daughter always experimenting with different temporary colours on her hair, whenever the school is closed for the holidays. It started when she was around 12 years old, rinsing her hair with cake colourants, and since her natural colour is white blonde, it always looked quite funky. We now have evolved to using coloured conditioners that fade out after a few washes. So a week or so before Christmas, we saw this intense, bright-red conditioner and my daughter was immediately in awe, with a big smile and with eyes begging for me to buy it… and much to my dismay, I did. The bottle said it washes out after eight washes. The bottle lied, and now more than 30 washes later, her hair is a cute strawberry blonde, but at least it is getting lighter with each wash.

So back to yesterday. As my daughter entered the gate, her homeroom teacher from 2 years ago, hastily rushed forward and pulled my daughter aside. A minute after that, my daughter was seated next to me in the car again. Apparently, this teacher (who has no authority whatsoever) told her she was not allowed on school grounds and had to go home, so of course we went straight to the principal’s office and asked to see the head of discipline (yes, that is legit his job title). I know that her hair is not the usual blonde and is now more of a dark strawberry blonde, but I really did not think it would get my daughter banned from entering the school grounds!! Once again, I wish I could say it was a pleasant meeting…I wish. But it was not a pleasant meeting at all. He was out to defend the actions of the teacher ( she’s a young, attractive little thing with a waist about as thin as my one upper thigh…) and said the rules stipulate no colouring of hair and that my daughter would not be allowed to attend school until it’s fixed. So I asked whether he was advising us to colour my daughter’s hair back to her original colour because the colouring of hair was sort of the reason we were in his office and that I refused to permanently colour her hair. Vehemently, he declared, “That’s, of course, not what he is saying.” He is saying (this time with more emphasis and articulation) that my daughter is not allowed in school until her hair is fixed! To which I responded (also with more emphasis and articulation) How do we fix her hair if it’s not allowed to be coloured??? And then it just escalated to a point where I was demanding he send me an e-mail that my daughter is not allowed at school, but she is also not allowed if she dyes her hair, and that the school does not know how to resolve this problem and left his office.

So at home, I got behind my keyboard and started a warrior battle in a long e-mail I typed to the headmaster (and I’m the master of long-windedness). The principal phoned me later that afternoon to arrange a meeting the following morning, which was today. Of course, he had to act accordingly to support the absolutely ridiculous attitude of his head of discipline and just talked over any attempt I made to say anything, ending with a smug “This school wants to create an image of being posh and disciplined. Extreme pink hair, like your daughter’s, will give the impression that kids are not disciplined in my school. He also said she could go to class, but she had to wear this ridiculously bright, checkered blue and yellow hat until the color faded completely. Eventually, I got a turn to say something, to which I replied, it’s fine, he can bring the little hat for her to wear, but before he does, I would like to make a suggestion or two. And of course, he was still smug and said by all means. So I commended this goal he has to make the school seem posh and disciplined, but suggested that he might focus a bit more on the HUGE (and believe me, it’s huge) drug problem in his school instead of coloured hair. I also mentioned what I know about the kids smoking dope in the bathrooms, as well as some other things I know, so he knows I know more than a parent should. Legit.

Seeing that little smug smile on his face shatter and just fall apart as his face dropped was so satisfying. Hearing the entitled, dominating, sophisticated voice turn into a stammering, fumbling confession that they are aware of the problem and are working on it was Fucking PRICELESS!!!! Gold, I tell you! This is something I’ll make sure my brain remembers so that I can think back to that moment whenever I feel I’m not worth anything. I might be a macho bitch, but I know I’m a fucking QUEEN!