Don’t let this tainted “self-love” trend have you 50 and alone because you walked away from everything that “didn’t serve you” instead of learning conflict resolutions
@ImanEurope Tweet
I came across the above quote a while ago. You know the one’s I’m talking about – the quasi words of ‘wisdom’ that gets shared over and over again on social media 🙄 with exclamations of ‘This!’ or ‘True!’, and it got me thinking. Specifically because I don’t agree but also because of the impact words like these could have on the fast-food, instant gratification culture of today. When I was young, things followed a certain pattern: flirting-dating-sex-baby-marriage or flirting-dating-sex-marriage-baby, depending on which side of the tracks you lived…….But the world turns, seasons come and go, years just fly and before you know it…..you’re in your forties, married, divorced or single (I always wonder why they never married….), living in a world also older, changed and different. I am divorced, so obviously have some experience in the changed dating patterns of today and OMW has it changed! It’s a selfie-fake world dominated by social media, likes and followers. The art of flirting seems to be disappearing as fast as spelling, proper language rules and chivalry….dick-picks and sexting before you actually meet seems to be the norm, and even a break-up or worse still, ghosting before ever meeting.
Since I’m already middle-aged (😰fuck that sounds old), I have a history of narcissists, psychopaths, egotistical maniacs and even someone who served a sentence for a murder(I only found out much later, ok!)…..but with age comes experience and knowledge and I’ve come to realise the importance of self love and care. After years of neglecting myself, keeping quiet and putting others first, I perfected the art of resolving conflict by not creating any, It took me years to realise that I should love myself first, before attempting to love anyone else, that I’m worthy and deserve someone who respects that, and loves me the same way. I’m sorry, conflict resolutions? Resolving conflict, mostly happen in an corporate environment, initiated by the side of authority (usually a manager who got some training for this, or HR) and the objective is to appease the situation, negotiate, but still end up with getting what the corporation wants. In a relationship though? Let’s be honest, the one with the highest tearing strength (the one who will handle a break-up the best) is the manager of the relationship and most likely the one who will get what they want in the end. From what I’ve experienced in trying to meet someone and dating, I think the above statement is dangerous and irresponsible, especially for the younger female generation. Seriously, stop for a moment and think before you run you mouth spewing BS. Without being too feministic, I just want to say, in all the years of recorded history (thousands of years), women were only allowed to own property and vote by the late 1800’s in some parts of the world…..shit….in South Africa some woman could vote from 1930 and all of them, only by 1994! Women have been standing back, keeping quiet and serving others, for thousands of years, and after just 200 odd years, while still trying to find our voice, empty words, like this quote, gets randomly shared, slowing down our growth…..
So, I would like to say to all out there: take care. and LOVE yourself. LOVE yourself first and LOVE yourself the most! Do not only walk away from everything that doesn’t serve you, but fucking RUN…..fast and as far as possible from it! If you crave conflict resolutions, get a job at a blue-chip corporate company, and at least earn some money for it! And don’t worry…..the last time I heard, the earth revolves around it’s own axis and not a penis, so being dick-less at the the age of 50, does not mean your existence will be lonesome or empty….just saying 😉
