Wooo-Wooo-Wooo…

Day four….I know Í can do this…and have done it before, I think to myself, while clenching my jaw and grinding my teeth. They say minimum fourteen days….just fourteen fucking days. And yes, I am aware the package insert (more like a package novel,,,,,) warns that negative symptoms, can last up to three months…..but I know, it will only be fourteen days. It better be, or else I might end up in jail…..

So my doctors decided, to add some more ingredients, to my morning cocktail, It now consists of nine colourful pills, instead of seven…..It is what it is….guess I will just swallow a bit more water in the mornings…Like with all these medicines, the list of side effects, are as long as my arm, but I’m familiar with them and confident, that I can handle it….. motherfucker, I did not expect it would hit so hard, damn….my agitation levels are through the roof! I literally get so angry, that I’m afraid, I’ll rip someone’s head off!!! The slightest noise will set me off and this…..anger, raging anger and irritation gets triggered with nearly everything!. To make it worse, the other pills that were added, is to boost my antidepressants and will also start to kick in, you guessed it, around 14 days or longer. One of the side-effects they warn about is that it can intensify, or cause suicidal thoughts and tendencies….I’ve got so much to say about this, but also completely flabbergasted and speechless.

OK, so the above was last night, and I can literary see and hear, the irritation and anger, just by certain words etc.. It seems that my aggravation just grows and keep on growing as the day progress. And I sort of understand…. Just while typing this sentence – the idiot next door is drilling the wall., somewhere, outside there’s a constant, loud-ass wooo-wooo like a vacuum cleaner and two airplanes has passed overhead (Yes we live about 7Km from OR Tambo)…..And now, a grinder has joined in on the droning song of the drill and the fucking wooo, is still wooo-ing, planes departing every five minutes, dogs barking, lawnmowers buzzing and cars swooshing on the highway!!!

But you know what? Today is better than yesterday, and I know tomorrow will be better than today. Today is also day no 5, of taking the extra meds. 9 more days to go, to get to that 14….I’ve so got this…..that’s seriously only, if I don’t end up in jail for ripping a head off….